How to Deal with Climate Denier Trolls

INTRODUCTION:

I don’t know about you, but some of my posts get trolled — massive attacks consisting of hundreds and sometimes more than a thousand responses, repeating the same idiotic climate denier b.s., easily debunked, meant to swarm the content so that no meaningful discussion can be had. The idea is simple, if enough troll responses are posted in reply to a legitimate post, then the experts who respond will not be able to break through the noise to continue the discussion. Their expertise will be lost in the garbage pile of ignorance these trolls purposefully create. The trolls are equivalent to a bunch of 5 year-olds having simultaneous tantrums in a small room. Every adult just wants to leave.

The source and scope of these attacks is immediately apparent. Although some replies are just organic idiots, most have a similarity that makes it clear they come from an organized troll farm, or are dispached by a government, or organized and paid for by the fossil-fuel industry, or are responding to a call from a sub-reddit or private Facebook group.

These trolls, with numbers often in the hundreds, are given their marching orders, including a link to a post to attack and a selection of memes they should use to attack it. The ‘meme of the day’ might be that ‘CO2 is plant food’ or ‘the climate has always changed’ or ‘it’s the sun’ or ‘it’s volcanoes’ or ‘it’s a hoax/scam/’ or ‘it was warmer in the (pick period).’ The language is also similar, with universal groupings often used, like ‘everyone knows that’ or ‘everybody thinks that.’ It is obvious to the casual observer that these are not unique individuals who somehow stumbled on the post and decided to all post the same noise.

The troll playbook has been written and is available if you go searching for it. I’m not going to provide a link. The argument against each nonsense meme is also available, for example at the website Skeptical Science, but I highly recommend you not engage. The most common response I get when I post a refutation (for example, to the claim that it was warmer in the 1930’s or that ‘Antarctic sea-ice is growing’) is that the post I refuted is deleted by the poster. And if they leave your refutation in place, they will come back at you again, with another question. They are simply sea-lioning you, which is “a type of trolling or harassment that consists of pursuing people with relentless requests for evidence.” (Urban Dictionary)

My usual tactic is to ‘block’ and ‘hide’ these replies. No one should see them and the user should never get another chance. I have always felt that a poster owes it to his audience to not just post his information, but also to do his best to keep an intelligent discussion alive afterwards. I’ve been blocking for years. I have blocked tens of thousands, and yet they still come. Before Elon, I used an automatic blocking tool, available when the API was free. Now I do it manually, and some days this can take a lot of time.

I have discovered there are certain phrases I use that are more likely than others to draw the troll farms, so-called ‘troll bait.’ Chief among these is when I cite paleoclimatology, such as the statement that 2025 will likely be the ‘third warmest year in the last 120,000 years.’  Every third troll will ask a version of, “so what was the temperature on July 14th, in the year -73,482?” Another example of troll bait is any graphical image that shows a record climate event. These sometimes score even more massive responses from troll farms. Naturally, most trolls who respond comment on the colors and don’t understand the science behind the image.

For example, here is a screen shot of a recent Twitter post I made that to date has had 443 troll responses compared to 18 legitimate replies. And yes, I hid and blocked all of those 443 troll reponses.

And here’s the latest one, from today, with 102 replies, 96 of which are from trolls, and 6 are legitimate. It’s overwhelming to deal with, and it’s exhausting to montior.

In addition to Climate Change, the other body of scientific work being attacked by these trolls is medicine, in particular, vaccinations. This combination of direct troll attacks on climate and medicine was met head on as the topic of the recent book “Science Under Siege,” in case you want to dig deeper.

Meanwhile, If the climate goes to shit and everybody gets sick, well, I suppose as a doomer I should be glad that will hasten the collapse of global industrial civilization. Yay, doomers?! On the other hand, it’s just fucking horrible to watch the massive scale of the organized disinformation being waged against legitimate science at this moment. As a scientist myself, it just makes me very sad to watch this unfold, as otherwise smart people are falling by the millions for this relentless propaganda campaign.

And so, once in a while I let my freak flag fly and take an alternate route to replying to this onslaught of hateful ignorance. I insult them. Pure and simple, a grade-school insult. It’s more than they deserve, but it also acknowleges just how horrible this war of misinformation has become. Honestly, fuck every one of these trolls. Their singular purpose is to cause an acceleration of suffering to humans and to the living planet. It’s evil. Pure and simple evil.

Okay, okay, and this is my personal indulgence. I also (sometimes) read the “quote-posts.” You know, the ones where you can re-post the original post and add your own comment in a way that the original poster might not see it. Well, if I’m getting sufficiently trolled on a post, then I also look at those. And although I can’t hide these trolls, a block serves the purpose of having their bullshit hang naked.

If you ever feel so-inclined, you can reply to these folks if they go after you, using the list of insults provided below.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Identify climate denier troll, idiot, or paid disinformation agent.
2. Copy and paste a response from the list below.
3. Block the troll.
4. Do not ‘hide’ the post, so others can see the insult.
5. Repeat. Endlessly. Repeat.

REPLIES:

• If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic.
• You’re proof evolution can go in reverse.
• Thoughts so slow, they would lose in a race to a snail.
• Your IQ called, it’s lost and needs directions.
• You have the mental horsepower of a broken tricycle.
• Even a rock looks at you and thinks, “Finally, someone dumber.”
• Your brain is open 24/7… for vacancies.
• You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
• Lights are on, but nobody’s ever home.
• Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
• A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
• The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
• Sharp as a marble.
• Not the brightest crayon in the box.
• Your family tree must be a cactus, everyone on it is a prick.
• Brain so small, it echoes.
• You put the “duh” in dumb.
• If brains were dynamite, you couldn’t blow your nose.
• You’re living proof that lobotomies work.
• One neuron short of a synapse.
• Your mind is like a steel trap, rusted shut.
• Intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
• You’re the reason warning labels exist.
• A thought just died of loneliness in your head.
• If you had another brain cell, it would be lonely.
• You’re not dumb, you’re just intellectually minimalist.
• Your brain runs on dial-up.
• Even autocorrect gives up on you.
• You think “cognitive” is a type of yogurt.
• The cheese slid clean off your cracker.
• Your IQ test came back negative.
• You’re proof God has a sense of humor.
• Brain so empty, it echoes when you blink.
• You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
• A few clowns short of a circus.
• Your brain’s buffering… permanently.
• If stupidity was a superpower, you’d be invincible.
• You’re the human equivalent of a 404 error.
• One fry short of a Happy Meal.
• Your thoughts move at glacial speed, in reverse.
• You have a room-temperature IQ… in Antarctica.
• The brightest thing about you is your future, it’s blank.
• You’re why we can’t have nice things… or smart conversations.
• Brain cells fighting a civil war, and losing.
• You make rocks look clever.
• Your mind is a vacant lot with “For Rent” signs.
• If brains were gasoline, you couldn’t run a moped.
• You’re not an idiot, you’re just on energy-saving mode forever.
• Even Siri ignores you.
• Your brain is sponsored by dial-up internet.
• A couple grapes short of a fruit salad.
• You think “IQ” stands for “I’m Qualified.”
• Your intellect is on life support.
• Sharp as a bowling ball.
• The lights are flickering, but still no power.
• You’re the reason aliens haven’t contacted us.
• Your brain’s “out of office” reply is permanent.
• If you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.
• You have the processing power of a potato.
• One brick short of a full load.
• Your mind is a black hole, nothing escapes.
• You’re the poster child for natural selection’s off day.
• Brain so tiny, it has a single parking space.
• You couldn’t think your way out of a paper bag with holes.
• Your IQ is in the single digits… and declining.
• Even a goldfish has better long-term memory.
• You’re the human version of a loading screen.
• Thoughts so rare, they’re endangered.
• Your brain is like Internet Explorer, slow and outdated.
• A few bits short of a byte.
• You make onions cry with your stupidity.
• Your head is just a hat rack.
• If stupidity hurt, you’d be in constant agony.
• You’re not playing with a full deck.
• Your brain’s on airplane mode.
• One spark short of a fire.
• You think “genius” is a type of lamp.
• Your intellect is a participation trophy.
• Even your shadow leaves when you try to think.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine around you.
• Your brain cells are on permanent strike.
• You’re the reason we have “idiot-proof” instructions.
• A mind like a sieve, everything leaks out.
• You couldn’t organize a thought in a filing cabinet.
• Your IQ is room temperature… Celsius.
• Brain running on fumes, and it’s always empty.
• You’re the missing link… and not in a good way.
• Thoughts so shallow, they need water wings.
• You make “dumb as a rock” seem aspirational.
• Your brain’s warranty has expired.
• One cookie short of a dozen.
• You’re the control group in the stupidity experiment.
• Even a broken clock thinks you’re wrong.
• Your mind is a “no vacancy” sign for ideas.
• If brains were taxes, you’d get a refund.
• You’re the reason shampoo has directions.
• A few watts short of a lightbulb.Your intellect is dial tone.
• Congratulations, you’ve achieved peak dumb.